Sakura - Yoeido Park

scent of passion lost..

It is the normal afternoon malee on a Thursday. Orderly chaos of people trying to get their meals, drinking their drinks and chatting up their friends.

I sat at the edge, in a corner, watching, listening, the white noises of the world.

I usually do not mind being by myself. In fact I find it easier to breath and to think when I’m alone; let loose all those tranquil cacophony that pass as neuron pulses in my brain.

But unfortunately, this moment is not as such. I find the calmness eluded me. I’m not sure why but somehow today it bothers me that I feel isolated from the dins.

a recalcitrant glitch on the things that I kept locked deep in the recess of my soul. a memory of something that is not supposed to see the light of days ever again.

At this moment, it matters not that I study abroad. It matters not that I had the opportunity to travel and experience other cultures. It matters not that I graduated from a good school with an above average results. It matters not that I am fit and glowing with pink health. It matters not…

None of these and those mattered when all I want at this very moment is to be on top of that stairs, spending my time with you, watching you smiling, inspiring me with your thoughts and emotions, soothing my life and calming my passion for you. And at that moment knowing that the fluttering feeling of love is possible, though it was impossible. Painful. But feasting on your presence, quenching my parched heart of hunger. Hungry for an acknowledgement that I am, even for a moment of a heartbeat, is love by a woman, a decent, kind-hearted, lovely woman.

What I would not give to be on top of that stairs again, knowing none that I can pay up, not my tears, not my blood, not my soul, can be exchange for an eternity of that moment, a heartbeat of love requited.