frozen love.

she has no melody of heart

no true love

just a fake love

i) That particular jet has been flying for the longest time. Fuel is running really low but yet there's no suitable place to land. how much longer does the jet must go on? crash it; so it could be the end of everything?

The will and the strength to go on are still the hardest.

ii) At the end, if we don't hang on together, we'll die alone.

i) Bagaimana pula dengan manusia yang matanya melihat hari terang dan cerah, namun tidak sedar kehidupan dan jiwanya terlindung berkat, suram dan gelap?

ii) No matter how many plans we make or steps we follow, we never know how our day is going to end up. We’d prefer to know, of course, what curveballs will be thrown our way. It’s the accidents that always turn out to be the most interesting parts of our day, the people we never expected to show up, a turn of events we never would have chose for ourselves. All of a sudden you find yourself somewhere you never expected to be and its nice, or it takes some getting used to. Still, maybe you’ll find yourself appreciating it somewhere down the line. So you go to sleep each night thinking about tomorrow, going over your plans, preparing for them, and hoping that whatever accidents come your way will be happy ones.

i) Mungkin suatu hari nanti, bila kita bangun dari tidur, perasaan untuk ingin tahu kejadian masing-masing tidak lagi istimewa seperti dulu. Kita terlalu angkuh pada haluan baru hingga alpa jejak-jejak tua yang telah kita tinggalkan.

ii) Lilin, sepertimu aku tidak mahu.

안녕! 그동안 잘 지냈어? 나도 대학생이라 공부하느라 바빴고 너도수험생활 하느라 많이 바빠서 2년동안에 자주 못만났던 것 같아. 만나려고도 했었는데 서로 여러가지 사정이 있었잖아. 그래도 난널 잊지 않고 지냈는데 너도 그랬겠지?ㅋㅋㅋ

사실 우리가 처음 만난 이후로 이렇게까지 만남이어질 줄은 몰랐어. 처음 만났을때 너무 좋았고 마음에 들어서 계속 연락하고 싶다고 생각했어. 그리고 또 네가 너무 자랑스럽기도 하고. 혹시나 멍청한 몇몇 말레이시아 애들 때문에 네가 상처 받지는 않을까 걱정도 했고. 그래서 내가 옆에서 많이 도와 주고 싶었는데 막상 큰 도움은 되 주지 못한 것 같아서 미안해. 내 도움 없어도 넌 잘하니까 섭섭하기도 하고 부듯하기도 하고. 네가 알아서 잘 하는 건 아는데, 정말 혹시나 해서. 만약 말레이시아에서 그런 일이 있었다면 내가 대신 사과할게.

저번에 영화를 보고난뒤, 집에 돌아오며 넌 오늘 참 재미있었다고 말해 주었어. 내가 생각하기엔, Danga Bay에선 힘들게 걸어다니기만 하고 밥도 늦게 먹고 내가 하고 싶은 대로만 한 것 같은데..너무 미안해.

더욱 더 오래 같이 있고 싶었는데 하루는 너무 짧아. 짧은 시간에 많은 걸 해 주고 싶었고 그러다 보니 오히려 널 피곤하게 한 것만 같아. 다시 한번 미안해.

쓰다 보니 어느세 이렇게 길어졌네. 그 동안 하고 싶은 말이 많았거든. 그리고 내 진심이 전달되었으면 해서. 왜냐하면 아직도 넌 나를 불편하게 생각하고 있는 것 같아서. 왜인지는 잘 모르겠는데..뭔가 그런 느낌을 받은 적이 있었던 것 같아. 넌 날 좀 더 편하게 생각했으면 좋겠어.

한국에 돌아가서 가족분들께 내 얘기 많이 해 줘. 말레이시아에 정말 멋있고 착한 친구가 있다고 ㅋㅋㅋ

너무 즐거웠어. 널 알게 되서 너무 기쁘고. 나중에 또 보자. 그땐 더 멋있어져 있을게 ㅋㅋㅋ

i) Dia menyapa. Menghulur tangan. Jemarinya yang melentik manja. Lurus dan kurus. Lembut, bukan pada kulit atau kelopak teratai yang memangkunya. Tetapi kelembutan itu datang dalam bagaimana jemari itu dialun ikut susunan yang santun. Provokatif hingga sedikit enticing. Haruskah aku dia cuba?

ii) If I told you that you didn't exist. Would you go away?

i) Wanita cantik melukis kekuatan melalui masalahnya, tersenyum saat tertekan, tertawa di saat hati sedang menangis, memberkati di saat terhina, mempesona kerana mengampuni. Wanita cantik mengasihi tanpa memilih, berkuat dalam doa dan pengharapan. Jadilah secantik bunga matahari, yang selalu terlihat anggun di tengah teriknya matahari, yang dapat bertahan hidup menyongsong ketika datangnya matahari esok hari.

ii) I guess you’re happy when you are relieved but you’re not necessarily relieved when you are happy. Am i making any sense?

i) Bintang naungan Aquarius, orangnya abstrak tetapi objektifnya jelas. Kontradiktori, pada sekian-sekian waktu. Sunyi, untuk hampir sepanjang masa.

ii) Kadangkala momen yang biasa boleh buat kita beku dalam ketakjuban. Sering selalu dari sekali sekala pula, perkara yang kita anggap biasa itu memberi makna berbeza dan besar untuk orang yang selain kita. Orang cakap, jangan selalu bercakap perkara yang kita tidak mahu berlaku kepada kita. Kerana lafaz itu adalah doa yang kita minta. Orang juga cakap, orang yang selalu kata tidak percaya pada cinta adalah orang yang bila mereka bertemu cinta hati mereka, kuasanya merasuk mereka lebih dari kenan orang biasa.

iii) Giving you mixed signals, unrelentingly.

i. It is really sad when you are able to understand the whole pieces of everything, what's coming in and out of your life, but you are unable to make conclusion on how to move forward with it. I guess to find meanings in your life, is part of the journey to maturity.

ii. Oh, don't be sorry for me. Life's like that. No matter how bad things are, u just gotta go on and live with it. keep on plastering a smile when u face the world eventhough deep inside u know for sure that ur soul has been dead long time ago.

iii. Selamat datang ke dunia, insan kecil. Bagaimana ya aku, ketika pertama kali melihat cahaya, membuka mata dan menerima kuasaNya. Adakah aku tertawa? Atau berduka dengan kegilaan dan kecamukan dunia manusia?

Happy 3rd anniversary, dearest blog. Sorry, it's a very quiet celebration. So many major hiccups happened past years. And i always wish the next year would be a lot better. And i've been wishing the same thing since i was five. Is it too much to ask? Is it?