I am someone who is disillusion/jaded with love. I stand by my statement when I wrote love is such a fleeting feeling. Yes, there is the 'love' that exists between single people that can lead to marriage and then the love within the honeymoon period. However, at this moment, at this time, I can say that I don’t believe in love that transcends the wear and tear of time. I do believe in lust though. I think to some extent lust induces love as I don't think love really exist. Because once the lust is not there anymore, love will be fleeting. Look at the number of divorces, unwed mothers and out of wed-lock sexual encounters.
I believe I've been through a lot and I’ve seen a lot too, that I think love without iman will be very hard to sustain/nurture. Why so many marriages crumble, or the marriage last but it is because of the children. If it is love between a husband and a wife, then how come some of them who have been married for some years and have a few kids in tow said most of the conversations they have with their partners now are about their children. Does the individual ceased to exist, now it is the child did this, the child did that, what about how's your day dear or what would make you content dear.
For someone that is so much in love with your partner, do tell me how you would feel 5 years from now. Or can you remember who was your love 5 years ago. Yes, there are exception to the rule, there are people who actually found someone who loves them for who they are and the gesture is returned.
Note: The only love that I can somehow believe in is the love between the child and the parents. That’s it. That’s the only love that I believe transcended all boundaries and expectations. That kind of love comes from the heart. (For this rambling I’m excluding the love between us and our maker/prophet).
I think if I can keep my partner interest and command his respect that would be enough for a start. I have stop believing Or is it may be I don't want to be vulnerable and saddled with the expectation/responsibility of love. Sad reality or I've embraced the hard truth...
9 whisper(s):
Happened upon this by chance, hitting "next blog" in a chain of blogs and saw this. I have been in love with the same man for 28 years. (I am a woman) I have been married to him 25 years. Our children are young adults, 23 and 21. There were many conversations about the children when they were younger and this continues to some extent as the youngest has a developmental disability and in many ways will always be a child. We have had many struggles over this and other family concerns. The love has not diminised, it has and does evolve. And yes, people in their mid-fifties can make passionate love. No. We are not ready for the grave. We and our love have, by the Grace of God, many more years in this life and an eternity in the next. I wish you love.
u sound like u have be hurt really badly b4. and are afraid to fall in love again.
theyhateme -
been hurt badly, hmm, let's just say that I don't wish that kind of pain on anybody. and no, i'm not afraid to fall in love, I just don't want to ever be vulnerable again.
hey azriec,
It sounds like there is more than one kind of love. In respect of love for the opposite sex, I think it has alot to do with acceptance of the way they are. For children, I notice they are loved because they are a certain way.
You're right that some parents live through their children. Soon enough their interests and hobbies disappear and children are the sole conversation topic. But I think this is healthy so I don't dispute it.
Back to 70's,
I just feel sad that you lose your identity when you have children. Is it any wonder why people look for outside companion? Our existance need to be acknowledge for it to have meaning.
Dear Azriec,
Children change the whole playing table. You can't go back to the old life. I don't have kids, but I see it everywhere.
In a weird way, the first sentence of your reply responds to the last sentence. Many people argue that children is what makes existence worthwhile.
Back to 70's
Yes, when you hv children, they become your priority. But couples should not lose their identities. else, when the kids started to have their own life, you and your partner are without a common bond.
You said it very well.
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