Why is it that for every happy day i rejoiced, the coming days will definitely be shitty ones, or at least one of those days where i’ve-had-better. It’s such a dread. But when i come to think about it, if every day were happy days, it takes the definition of happy out of it, which then makes it ordinary and plain. Sometimes, not so good things are there to remind us of what are good things. Makes us appreciate it better i suppose.

I think i should use less ‘but’s. Everytime i have a ‘but’ in my sentence, i will go on and on and on about sumthing and eventually arrive at a conclusion which non-to-my-surprise, carry no definite answer in it.

I’m either witty or a joke!

In the eyes of the beholder

In the eyes of the beholder

It is always an interesting eye opener to know how much you are really worth to someone else.

You can infer all you want from their everyday (previous) words/actions, but nothing beats the eye opening truth in seeing how you are treated when you are in need, for that is the best time to know whether you are weight in gold or crap.

Lynn - Perth - 2007
Thanx for the pic

half the battle of social interaction is won when someone finds you attractive..

People always say that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and I could not agree more with this sentiment.

For people other than the top 5% percentile, the inarguably most beautiful of the world population, it is sometimes hard to know how cute/beautiful/lovely/smart/beguiling/smoldering hot you are to someone's eyes.

If you find someone that you are attracted to, there is a chance he won't find you attractive. And if he finds you attractive, there is a chance that you are not attracted to him.

To have that one moment in time, when every life's particle is on collision and colliding just at the right angle and force, when you find the other person unbelievably hot, and he in turn happens to find you are hot too (or even hotter) is priceless.

How often do we mere mortal have a chance to strike gold such as this?

Have you ever been in a situation where you are stumped by an internal crisis that try as you may you cannot find the words to illustrate the problem plaguing you. It seemed that your words are stuck somewhere inside you that suddenly you are as fluent as Tazmania from Looney Tunes, you can only bluergh, blargh, and sigh.

You know how people always says that the best things in life are free. Is it really? I mean that sport car, big bungalow and trips oversea are not cheap, let alone free. But are we really judging how happy our life is by the amount of material things that we have or how content we are about life.

Wait, don’t frown, today’s posting is not gonna be something deep or analytical. I was just gonna share the things that we took for granted.

1. No traffic jam when you already late. (I took a leaf out of alanis’s song).

2. The need to poop or pee right away in a clean and workable toilet.

3. The need to let the wind blow. err, you know what kind of wind I'm talking here right. ;-P

4. The smile from someone that you care, when you feel depressed or tired.

5. Someone crack a joke while you are under stress, enabling you to smile/laugh your stress away.

6. Clean water to shower.

7. Clean air to breath.

8. Someone to hold you when you are in need of hugging.

9. Someone to love when you feel like giving the love.

10. Coming home to a delicious home cook meals.

From that I would imagine item 2 and 3 are the most potent. imagine you are in a crowded elevator or a big meeting; the amount of energy and butt muscles that you need to keep in it. At this point you don’t care whether you have big cars, or bungalow anymore, you just need to find a release. Imagine the relief when you finally let it go.

The prevailing haze is not only harshly choking the sight, but it is also discordant to my internal balance. For someone that's somewhat a nature aficionado, I get blindingly disheartened when I can't find the blue sky, watch the red sun rising in the morning, feel the cheeky brown earth and taste the mischievous breeze. This is one of the reasons I managed to dislocate my brain.

I went back to my roots last weekend, hoping that the time and distance would help to put an order to my disorganized thoughts. I detest it when I can't walk/think a straight line because I lost my lucid mind as if I "ikut hati, mati". Desolately, the dastardly rascal dreariness shadowed me there too, even within the fortress of pristine green, the haze continued to be persistently belligerent to not leave me alone.

where are the beaming sun and sustaining rain imparting the warmth of life?

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. - Homer Simpson (**hehehe.. who said you never learn anything from watching cartoons ;-P)

I think I should refrain from further dumping my confusingly coherent (or is it clearly incoherant) thoughts today.

Friendship with the opposite sex sometimes end up making u feel all confused and tingled especially when u don't know exactly how to handle the unplanned/natural flirt that became serious each day (lately). Which is not supposed to be that way in the first place. But u can't help it from happening when u've already too close of a friend and the friendship has been developed over the years. And u r somehow stuck at the crossroad. Coz after all both of u are supposed to be just friends. If not, best of friends. But when either one of u suddenly feel/want/hope/dream/seek MORE which accidentally blossomed from the flirt thing. It kinda sucks.. if the other person actually feels/wants/hopes/dreams/seeks the opposite...

And trust me, once u've crossed the line... it would never be the same like before.

Awkwardness will come into picture. "SERABUT" is the keyword.

Have anyone ever told you “never be too eager to find out a secret; it might change your life forever”? Well, if the answer is no, then let me tell u now.

“Never be too eager to find out a secret. It might change your life forever”

Sometimes, the temptation to find out secrets or details (previously unknown) can be disastrous. Sometimes (rarely), does it work to be a benefit or advantage. No matter what, it will definitely change something. On the softer side, it may change your perception. On a more extreme end, it may affect your principles.

There’ a song i really like by Iris Dement; covered by Natalie Merchant n 10,000 maniacs. It’s called Let The Mystery Be. There’s some sense in that, i’m sure. Certain secrets are not worth knowing, trust me. But certain unknown information may prove to work for your benefit; definitely worth knowing. Having said that, we won’t really get to weigh the worth of it until you find out about it. which by then, spoils the whole saying. The choice one makes will reflect on one’s behaviour towards risks.

In the process of deciding whether or not it is worth knowing a secret..

We get to question ourselves.. “Am i up for ’being ignorant’ about it?”… which later in the process of answering that particular question, we just might convince ourselves “ignorance can sometimes be a bliss”. Or we might simply convince ourselves that “what doesn’t kill ya makes u stronger; anything besides that is a bonus”.

How blissful is it, resisting the temptation of never knowing the one particular secret that may change your life forever to a positive note?

but,

If it doesnt kill me, yeah true enough i’ll survive and be stronger (hopefully) but will i be calm, cool, composed and collected as to prior of knowing such secret?

This whole session of questions and ultimatums if put on paper, will definitely look like a Probability Tree Diagram, the kind we see in Stats class. Rather to crack your head with all the ‘what ifs’ and ‘which one’, why don’t we just calculate the outcomes and choose the one that carries the risk weight age that suits one’s personality? I mean, that’s what Stats is all about rite? About translating an event or situation or question into mathematical structure and logical framework? The original question in the first place was assessing one’s behavior towards risks anyway.

Which brings me to thinking, who ever said Literature and Maths don’t go hand in hand together?

By the way, this has no reflection whatsoever of the events that took place today.

It has been a good day so far… astonishing i find it..

At the very moment i’m typing this entry, i am smiling because overall i think i had a good day. I had earlier thought that it was gonna be a bad day considering i had a very unusual start in the morning, but alhamdulillah, the day went rather smooth in fact beyond the ordinary.

My productivity was awesome today. I haven’t had such boost ever since dot dot dot. Hell, i feel greattt today !!

The long email from her was like topping my brilliant day with a swenson’s ice cream. It felt so good to hear from her. I feel alive today. And now i realize that i actually do have a life. It’s a life that i enjoy. It doesn’t have to be like the type of life others enjoy, it’s about me rejoicing, embracing life the way i feel like doing it. It’s about self-satisfaction.

At this very moment, i’m very much excited and eager to start a brand new day tomorrow. I can’t say much how i’d be feeling in 5 minutes time but i hope this feel good feeling would last through the night.

Mahatma Gandhi once said “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony”. And i’d give a thumbs-up to that.

Athir

Tayam : oi, dak2 junior datang 29..mlm ni meeting
Ayie : adeh..tukar lg..

****

Tanya : Ayie, malam nie boleh dtg meeting kat kodae x?
Ayie : erm..boleh je..pukul bpe?
Tanya : 8.30
Ayie : Tanya, i xmakan lagi ni..u belanja i..
Tanya : ok.i pun x makan lg

yahoo..kak Tanya yg baik ^^

Busan

16th February… Happy Birthday To You….

Those would be the words i would be uttering or would have uttered yesterday. Sigh… I know better that silence would be the best treatment. People say it’s the thought that counts. I think it’s true. Certain things are better left unsaid. For the fear of the possible consequences to come. As much as i want to comfort myself, to convince myself that i am strong, i don’t see the point of jeopardizing my sanity over a birthday wish. It wasn’t easy to put things behind. Therefore, i’d do the reminiscing another sunny day.

For what it was worth, the birthday wish is genuine, from the heart. Surprisingly (or not surprisingly to some of you), the birthday wish stands alone. Nothing else. Anything besides that, would definitely be insincere. I’m not evil. But i’m not good either. I’m only human. I think i’ve forgiven but i’m very certain i’ve not forgotten. If forgiven means to give up resentment against, how can it be forgiven when it’s not forgotten?

i. Kadang-kadang hati lebih pedih bila yang disayangi menjadi orang yang kita tidak kenali lagi. Lebih parah jika rasa hormat mati dan kawan menjadi musuh yang tidak mahu dibenci.
ii. Manusia jadi defensif kerana mereka mahu orang mendengar alasan mereka. Atau mahu orang menyetujui apa yang mereka rasa, buat dan fikir, selalunya. Mereka bina pagar kebal untuk senang menyangkal.
iii. Manusia memang komplikated kan. Perasaan lagilah rumit. Sebolehnya semua hati ingin dijaga. Tapi aku tidak mampu.
iv. kesiannya manusia yang tiada jiwa. atau tak kenal jiwanya. atau ego terhadap diri sendiri.
v. It's good to be home.

What is really important is to see the whole big picture of the situation. Not to be judgmental and prejudice at the same time.

The trick is to understand the concept, and to know how things work the way they supposed to work.

Get a grip, people hate sissies. No-one's ever gonna shag you if you cry all the time

Autumn - South Korea

Silence is golden

Silence is easy

Based on true court case.

A man and his wife were getting a divorce at a local court, but the custody of their children posed a problem. The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them. The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his side of the story.

After a long moment of silence, the man rose from his chair and replied: "Judge, when I put a dollar into a vending machine and a Pepsi comes out, does the Pepsi belong to me or to the machine?"

Don't laugh, he won!

Seoul - South Korea

Can a person loves 2 person (or maybe more) at the same time?

(does not involves siblings/families/friends/foes)

Like they used to be in love with someone from the past; probably their first love but as for now, they are in love with their current partner and still love (not in love anymore but juz love) that someone from the past? Does that mean they have so much love inside them until they are capable of handling few person(s) at the same time? What about those men who practices polygamy? Marrying 2/3/4 wives? Coz they have so much love to 'upload'? Or izzit becoz it's started off as mere lust/attractions? Then only LOVE came into picture? At least married men MADE IT LEGAL. Whatever things in the bedroom or inside the closet would be another story.

And what about those (unmarried/singleton) who are able to love so many? Or u would juz choose one ultimate person u could love for the rest of ur life? And share every love u have with only him/her? None others?

Can u be in love with 2 person (or maybe more) at the same time?

Note that 2 questions (in bold) seems similar but it's actually different from one another. As for me, i believe that every single person on this earth are able and capable to love and to be in love with more than one person at the same time. It's a matter of choice. To be with one ONLY. Determination to stick/focus on ONE. So whatever things that falls into your way especially lust u r able to get rid of it instead of accepting it as ur fate. Dah jodoh nak wat camne. Dah takdir nak wat camne. Dah terjatuh cinta, nak wat camne. Then wham bang - secret affairs/love triangle came into picture. It's so thrilling and yet so heartwrenching.

Or in the end if u choose to have both person(s)/all. Handle it well then. Even honesty is the best policy, no one would ever have the courage to say - hei i love them both (but in a different way)? Yeah riteee....But then there's always a risk (calculated risk to be exact), u might end up losing everything. And then only u know u were declared bankruptcy in the love bank. U r totally broke.

So much love to 'upload' and 'download' kan? Whose loss izzit anyway? Ouccchh.

Is it possible to be with someone who you are VERY intellectually connected, emotionally attached but NOT physically attracted to? Does physical attraction plays a major role or it does not really matter in a relationship? Does the package of a person goes beyond that? Well, if it does/does not really matter…BUT would it be OK to be with someone but minus out the physical factor?

Would you give it a try for the sake that you’ll never know what will happen in the future that given time u might change your feelings (being physically attracted to) toward him/her and would go another step further? Or probably you just put a stop there, cause it’s not worth trying, draw the line and stay as the best of friend cause friendship worth even more?

Which risk would u take?

How would u rank chemistry/personality – intellect, emotion, physical?

Oh, don’t tell me all 3 are rank on the same level – as equally important? That’s bullshit too perfect. There’s no such thing as a perfect individual, cause if they do exist, life would be a perfect fairy tale. Whatever or whichever pick u rank, it’s ok cause at least you know yourself better and what you really want or expect from a person you wanna be with at the moment, if not for the rest of your life.

After all, we’re only human. Just human. And it's still OK to be selfish, just to guard our own feeling.

S.O.S

Do u believe that we often sabotage our own happiness? Believe it or not. We do, sometimes. Without even realizing it. Or probably we do notice about it, but we tend to ignore it. For the sake of others. So that we sacrifice our own.

Sabotage OR Sacrifice? Which one will do more damage to our life?

Some truths should remain buried and better to be left unknown.

So much for 'honesty is the best policy'.

Jaha & Qin Lynn - Kyongju

Oh apakah yg kamu lakukan?

Very interesting question

Wife is dreaming in the middle of the night and suddenly shouts:

"Up!! Quick! My husband is back.

Man gets up, jumps out of the window, hurts his butt, and then realizes:

"Damn, I'm the husband!"

Who is guilty in this situation????

h-e-a-r-t

Public Apology.

On separate note, i would like to apologize to a friend. I'm not sure whether u r reading this or not, but i hope u do. From the bottom of my heart, i'm sorry. I would have send a bouquet of flowers to Ausie but i'm not sure which town u r located. The idea of someone else who has the same name as yours jumping up and down while receiving the flowers from a so called secret admirer put me off. I would have send JA lookalike to perform a lap dance but in this short period of time, i don't think i could find any malaysian that look like her. I would wash your car every other weekend with the impersonation of Jessica Simpson in that music vid - These Boots Are Made for Walkin' from Dukes of Hazzard but i don't have such assets to flaunt so the car washing session might turn ugly. So, please accept my apology and i hope things will get back juz like the way it was before even though i know it would be very much different from now on.

Ehsan - Kyongju
(Gila)

The only thing in life that is certain is our history. That’s solid certain. Nothing you can do will shake the certainty out of it. And there’s no need for illusions when it’s certainty. So, history carries no illusions. It’s real. All real. Just real. Realism.

Jeju Island - South Korea

Moral, religion and culture aside. Please treat this with an open mind.

Kiss during on the first date.

Acceptable? Big No-No? Too forward? Doesn't matter? Or like hello, which planet were u from again?

Napi & Pisang - Kyongju

I borrowed this book from a very good friend of mine somewhere last year and forgotten all about it until recently.

My favourite pages are page 106-107.

Page 106 - How To Satisfy A Woman Every Time.
Caress, praise, pamper, relish, sabour, massage, fix things, empathise, serenade, compliment, support, feed, soothe, tantalise, humour, hug, stroke and etc etc etc (50 other good things)

Page 107 - How To Satisfy A Man Every Time.
Arrive naked.

Classic, ain't?

night - winter

Am having a rather tough time trying to concentrate on this entry while listening to this Girl Generation song called Into the New World. It’s so haunting, I’m telling you. Despite the fact that I feel the way they dance in this songs can be improved in so many ways, I can’t deny the fact that their songs just gets to me. It has this effect of making me feel floating and mellow. The picure of a feather floating in the air suddenly comes to mind.