Yeongsan - Seoul

In life only one thing is certain, apart from death and taxes: No matter how hard you try, no matter how good your intentions, you are going to make mistake. You are going to hurt people. You are going to get hurt. And if you ever want to recover, theres really only one thing you can say..

I forgive you..

Forgive and forget. That's what they say. It's good advice, but it's not very practical. When someone hurts us, we want to hurt them back. When someone wrongs us, we want to be right. Without forgiveness old scores never settle. Old wounds never heal, and the most we can hope for is that someday we'll be lucky enough to forget.

Gangnam - Seoul

Please do not underestimate her, for if you do you will have missed so much.

There is a lot about her that she doesn’t like to share. She has her reasons. Don’t ask about those either. Sometimes words fail her. She tries to speak and they get jumbled for no reason. It makes her speech cautious at times. Yet she talks all the time about meaningless things, just so she won’t have to talk about what really matters. The things that never pass her lips are the things she feels the most deeply. Watch her eyes. They will tell you what you need to know. Watch her smile. It will give away even more.

Sometimes her heart feels like it is going to burst because of all the love it has welled up inside. She cannot begin to describe her capacity to love. Do not confuse it with her being in love. It is not the same. She can love someone completely and unconditionally without ever slipping into that moment. There was a time in her life where she felt safe and warm inside the arms of strangers because they would sing gently to her, and wipe the tears from her face. She is just passing on what they taught her..

She gets overwhelmed by people the first time. She is an observer until she is comfortable. Some people think it is her being aloof. But she watches everything so closely that there isn’t time for her to be involved.

She thinks that she makes people uneasy at times. Some have seen her as intimidating and they were not afraid to share this with her. This troubles her greatly, even though many years have passed.

Her willpower can be, at times, iron strong.

She likes the metallic taste of her blood when she accidentally scratches a scab off. She likes the chemical smell of gasoline even though prolonged exposure causes cancer.

She has been asleep.

She is starting to wake up.

She is like an onion ... layer of cells upon layers of cells. She is waiting for someone to peel her apart.

She is someone.....

COEX Shopping Complex - Seoul

There's something wrong with me. I'm happy. And i'm worried sick for the fact that I'm happy. I dont know what's the reason is. Who or what made me happy.


It's neither valium nor prozac.
So whoever/whatever u r, be it a ghost/shadow/alien out there....

Thank you.

COEX Shopping Complex - Seoul

She meant it in another way. In the nicest possible way, of a different context entirely. She was sharing. Sharing is good.

And she was happy. You can tell from her voice. She said it with a sparkle in his voice. She was truly enjoying the moment. Her moment. Clearly reflected in that smile on her face. That big warm smile. The kind that can melt you down to your knees.

And i was happy for her. Was I left with any other options? Any other would have changed her mood. Soon if not instantaneous. Do I have the heart? Taking away the joy that is so genuine. The kind of joy that sets you glowing and beeming.

To fade the smile? Not for a minute would I let it disappear. Never!

But am i happy?

Somewhere near COEX - Seoul

(i)
The gloomy sky is a picture perfect of how I’m feeling today. I’m constantly reminded of the saying “Don’t be too happy for sadness may just peek at you around the corner”. True enough.. it didn’t wait much longer to jump on me. I can’t say that i didn’t see it coming. It definitely was gonna happen. It’s just a matter of when. How can I be sure of it? Because it happened the last time. And i don’t intend sit through the lesson over again. I’ve been taught well the last time around and making the same mistake twice would only make me a bigger fool.

(ii)
I regret this. Very much. But on the other hand, I don’t know how else it could turn out to be. I can only see one ending, the not so nice ending, the ending that has ended. It would be really great if things could prolong on and on and on and on and on……. But, who am i kidding?

Amanda & Amber
Perth - Australia
Thanx Lynn for the pic...they both always cute...looking at this picture reminds me of our childhood..Well you once told me that childhood is the most beautiful of all life's seasons.Wonder if u still remember it..

Friendship isn't a big thing - it's a million little things.
~Author Unknown

For having a friend like you, all i can say is thanks for letting me occupy a little space in your heart...
I promise I'll save a room for you to occupy in this heart of mine.

Pulau Angsa, Selat Melaka.13 Januari 2006.
Menghunus ke angkasa. Menyucuk langit. Tapi tugasnya menjalar cari kelibat manusia di lautan sepi.

Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect. It just means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections.

How can a perfectionist contemplate with happiness? When all they want and expect is perfection.

In the end, would the perfectionist find true happiness? So much for a happy ending, eh?

Is there such thing as happy ending? Or more like roller coaster ending?

Kota Gelanggi, Pahang, Februari 2006.
Biar luruh, nilai senimu masih gemuruh. Kuasa tuhan di mana saja.

B a n a n a s p l i t

Is it true that we do have a split/multiple personality whenever we blog?

Is it true that what or who we are do not potray the real us in blogland?

Is it true that the person who blogs has contradict personality in blogland as oppose to real life? When he/she potrays himself/herself as a funny person, he/she is actually not. When he/she potrays as a sad, depressing, melancholy person, he is actually the other way round in real life? When he/she posts series of happy and joyful posts, is he/she really like that in the real world?

I guess we'll never know. Or even wanted to know.

Well, who am I to judge. It's a blogland. It's a free world.

You are allowed to be whoever you are.

But one thing for sure, you gotta be honest to yourself.

Note : I wasn't implying to any particular bloggers. It's a general state of mind where I wanted to find the truth on why did I blog on the first place. and why I wanted to continue blogging. Blogging was supposed to be a self theraphy for me. And I intend to keep it that way.

Johor Bahru, Malaysia, Januari 2006.
Mereka yang memenuhi ruang.Mereka kesemuanya istimewa bagiku.

Perlukan kelainan. Untuk memberi ruang dan peluang kepada diri sendiri, agar benar-benar akui apa yang diperkatakan selama ini. Untuk menghargai perbezaan dan memahami diversifikasi. Makhluk yang pelbagai, bentuk, sifat dan perangai.

Dia yang boleh jadi sangat istimewa.

Aku yang perlu lupa dan mulai kesemuanya semula.

Genting, Januari 2006

p/s : thanx bro 4 the pic

Jelinganmu tidak mampu mengungkap rentak kekuda itu.

Busan - Summer

Dear Blog,


I miss you terribly. Pardon me for abandoning you lately. Haven't been pouring my inner thoughts that much, huh? With lot of works and me had flue for the past 1 week, it didn't help as much either. I'll write more soon. It's just that i have this fear again . I'll find ways to get over it.


It's a freaking promise.

Kedutaan Besar Malaysia - Hannam-dong - Seoul - Sambutan Hari Raya

No matter how hard I try, to understand life, to learn lessons, to succumb defeat, or to taste sweet triumph, I could never ever expect things to be the way it should be. There are more spaces to explore, infinite places to go, there will be feelings to endear, there will be more than enough of anything, everything of anything that is; and there will be more hurdles for me to jump too. Will I succeed?

Come what may, I'll be ready to embrace it. I'll be glad to feel sad. I'll be more than appreciated to accept. I'll be what I'll be. I'll see what I want to see. I'll find the way, indeed. I'll always be the child in me.

Yoiedo Park - Credit to Mak Long for Her Shot using Mcd's Canon

a break of pure tradition -no black n white

My Heart Was Stuck In Denial,

There Were Too Many Miles

Between Us.

Donsaengku - 삼성 아파트 -Annyang - Homestay

What else can I say?

Forgive me for all that may hurt you.

For promises that I have not kept tight.

For good intentions that have been misunderstood

For all the wrongdoings and all the right that went wrong

~Salam Aidilfitri~

Busan - Summer

I don't need someone who changes when I change and who nods when I nod

My shadow does that much better~~

Lotte Mart - Boramae

Being an adult simply means that I know what I should be doing and I move ahead without supervision and do it, even when I really may not feel much like doing it at the time. And so it is and should be in all aspects and areas of my life.

When I was a little kid, I often thought, “When I grow up, I want to do everything I want”.

And I looked forward with anxious anticipation..

But with lots of challenge and obstacles to deal with make me think that being a kid is way better than being an adult...

Well, being a kid is fun isn't it?

A child reminds us that playtime is an essential part of our daily routine.

Gyeongbokgung Palace - Seoul + a bit of photoshop


A true friend stabs you in the front

Friendship isn't a big thing - it's a million little things
see..who got ur pic first..haha
Busan - Summer

There’s a line, between friends and not friends. And if I tell you this, if I tell you this horrible thing, then you have to react as my friend. Not as my not friend.

I can do that. Alright, tell me what’s wrong, I'll tell you how to fix it.

Ok, are you ready?

I’m ready.

Ugh... I fight with him... and it was a horrible mistake and now everything has changed and I don’t know how to repair it. I don’t even know where to start, but I just know that I have to and... Say something friendly.

You tell him that. You find him and you apologize.

That’s what everyone’s saying, but he won't listen.

Tell him again. You tell him u’re sorry. Just tell him again and again and again until he listens.

How do I do that?

You do what I did to u before..

Black vs White
KISA - Seoul National University

Shades of grey wherever I go

The more I find out the less that I know

Black and white is how it should be

But shades of grey are the colors I see

Boramae - Seoul

Sorry is a word,obviously, use to apologise for the wrong doings we have done towards an individual and even a group of people...it's a strong word in nature in the sense that to let other people know that we are remorseful for the things that we have done.In a lot of situations this word just come out so quickly from our mouth and even thoughts without us noticing it.. in other words, we say it without meaning it .well, it will be dilluted if this word is being ultered countlessly from our mouth.... it will soon lost the sincerity of the word... Sincerity can be said as an important essense and critiria in the word SORRY... So, do ponder for a while and mean it when we ulter the word sorry.... a strong word which can turn the situation better and tightens back relationships and gaps....

Boramae

Tears are the silent language of grief

that's why i put my sunglasses on

so she can't see my red eyes

Boramae Station

You know what 7 glasses of coffee gets you? Awake at 2.30 pm that is. i am soooooo dead if my doctor were to find this out..I’ve just finished watching this movie on laptop. A heartwarming drama kinda thing. Considering it was on Hallmark, you can be guaranteed a happy ending, definitely.

As at the moment, i’m stuck in from of this laptop, with a sprained neck and a strained back. I can barely lift my neck up straight but stubbornly, i still wanna blog. Practically, about nothing. Nothing is running through my head now. Pretty laid back for the night.

Why do i have this feeling like my life NOW, at this very moment is bare. Not empty totally, just unfilled perhaps. You know what i mean? It’s like there are pieces of it everywhere, but nowhere in sight. It all seems rather insignificant separately. But i guess when you put it all together, it makes more sense than what it seems to be now. Don’t get me wrong. I’m neither sad nor depressed. I’m just emotionless? It’s such a contradiction from the me in the early morning or in the late afternoon.


I dunno how to describe how i feel at the moment.

Devastated? But i knew it was BIG possibility that it could be true. How devastated can i be then?

Relieved? But it’s not the truth that i want to know. How relieved is that for me?

Emotionless? But i am filled with feelings, all kinds. mixed. How can i be emotionless when i feel like i’m about to explode within?

I guess, i’m tired. I guess, you can’t win it all. You win some, you lose some.

Boramae - Seoul

~Ramadhan~

How much joy you bring to my heart when I know your arriving..

I wish the days to run towards you and when you have finally arrived I wish for the days to run slow..


And do not forget to leave a gift for me at the door of your absence..

~Salam Ramadhan~

Hari Muhibah PPMK - Back To 70's - DYTC

Untuk jiwa-jiwa yang sunyi berduka. Pasangkan musik pada telinga dan dengar gubahan ajaib yang merencanakan cerita. Biar hati lega, perasaan jadi tenteram dan lantas melupakan segalanya.

Termenung - Seoul National University

Regret comes in all shapes and sizes. Some are small , like when we do a bad thing, for a good reason. Some are bigger, like when we let down a friend. Some of us escape the pains of regret by making the right choice. Some of us have little time for regret, because we're looking forward to the future.

Sometimes we have to fight to come to terms with the past. And sometimes we bury our regret, by promising to change our ways.

But our biggest regrets are not for the things we did... but the things we didn't do. The things we didn't say that could save someone we care about.

Especially when we can see the dark storm that's headed their way.