We all know, from what we experience with and within ourselves, that our conscious acts spring from our desires and our fears. Intuition tells us that that is true also of our fellows and of the higher animals. We all try to escape pain and death, while we seek what is pleasant. We are all ruled in what we do by impulses; and these impulses are so organised that our actions in general serve for our self preservation and that of the race. Hunger, love, pain, fear are some of those inner forces which rule the individual's instinct for self preservation. At the same time, as social beings, we are moved in the relations with our fellow beings by such feelings as sympathy, pride, hate, need for power, pity, and so on. All these primary impulses, not easi ly described in words, are the springs of man's actions. All such action would cease if those powerful elemental forces were to cease stirring within us. Though our conduct seems so very different from that of the higher animals, the primary instincts are much aloke in them and in us. The most evident difference springs from the important part which is played in man by a relatively strong power of imagination and by the capacity to think, aided as it is by language and other symbolical devices. Thought is the organising factor in man, intersected between the causal primary instincts and the resulting actions. In that way imagination and intelligence enter into our existence in the part of servants of the primary instincts. But their intervention makes our acts to serve ever less merely the immediate claims of our instincts.

Seandainya nyawaku terpisah dari jasad malam ini, sudikah dikau pinjamkan air matamu mengenangku?

Seandainya kau bertemu Maha Esa setidaknya sekali sehari, sudikah dikau menadah tangan menghulurku secarik nur doa?

Seandainya aku tiada lagi di syurgaloka nan fana ini, sudikah dikau sedekahkan jantung Quran buat bekalanku di malam jumaat?

m o o d : w h i t e

Happiness,

that grand mistress of the ceremonies in the dance of life,

impels us through all its mazes and meanderings,

but leads none of us by the same route.

If I could take this moment forever..turn the pages of my mind to another place and time
We would never say goodbye

If I could find the words I would speak them..then I wouldn't be tongue-tied when I looked into your eyes
We would never say goodbye

If I could stop the moon ever rising..day would not become the night..wouldn't feel this cold inside
And we'd never say goodbye

I wish that our dreams were frozen..Then our hearts would not be broken when we let each other go...

If I could steal this moment forever..i want to paint a picture-perfect smile so our story stayed alive..we would never say goodbye

anak yg terpinggir

As I look back on all that's happened..growing up, growing together, changing you, changing me -- there were times when we dreamed together, when we laughed and cried together. As I look back on those days, I realize how much I truly miss you and how much I truly love you. The past may be gone forever..and whatever the future holds, our todays make the memories of tomorrow. So, my lifetime friend, it is with all my heart that I send you my love, hoping that you'll always carry my smile with you, for all we have meant to each other and for whatever the future may hold.



m o o d : w h i t e

I often wonder of various majestic words that I found in everyday life. It is a self-triumph if I manage to get to know the wonderful meaning of the words once in a while. I mean to really understand it.



Excerpts of ‘being contented’, ‘absolutely fun’, ‘sadistically sad’, ‘profoundly admired’, and so and so are always dragging me into bafflement of to know what ingredient they do really carry.


Of all of the mentioned words, I must admit that at almost all time I put up a mind challenge and call for an extra effort to understand the meaning of ‘Happiness’. Do you know what it means?


I read many descriptions and people pronunciations of this particular word. Some is avidly rich and some is bluntly plain. Which one is my preference and which one is yours? Well today, I came acrossed the meaning of the word ‘happiness’ again. This time it is slightly different, it makes me smile when I first saw it.



m o o d : w h i t e

Jejudo Island , South Korea




Mungkin apa yang aku perlukan adalah masa,



untuk lebih bersahaja dalam apa jua perkara.

I don't know if I continue, even today, always liking myself. But what I learned to do many years ago was to forgive myself.


It is very important for every human being to forgive herself or himself because if you live, you will make mistakes- it is inevitable. But once you do and you see the mistake, then you forgive yourself and say, 'well, if I'd known better I'd have done better,' that's all. So you say to people who you think you may have injured, 'I'm sorry,' and then you say to yourself, 'I'm sorry.' If we all hold on to the mistake, we can't see our own glory in the mirror because we have the mistake between our faces and the mirror; we can't see what we're capable of being.


You can ask forgiveness of others, but in the end the real forgiveness is in one's own self. I think that young men and women are so caught by the way they see themselves. Now mind you. When a larger society sees them as unattractive, as threats, as too black or too white or too poor or too fat or too thin or too sexual or too asexual, that's rough.



But you can overcome that. The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself. If we don't have that we never grow, we never learn, and sure as hell we should never teach.





m o o d : w h i t e

I start to think there really is no cure for depression, that happiness is an ongoing battle, and I wonder if it isn't one I'll have to fight for as long as I live. I wonder if it's worth it.

I start to feel like I can't maintain the facade any longer, that I may just start to show through. And I wish I knew what was wrong.

Maybe something about how stupid my whole life is. I don't know.



m o o d : b l a c k